Hi Bill,
My name is Ira. I do not have any of your conditions at this time, but I am a two plus year survivor of emergency quintuple bypass surgery after a heart attack, with a family history of left descending anterior artery disease. It sounds from your post that you already have explored the idea of living for right now, but I would like to expand upon that and, I hope, reinforce it.
All that any of us have is right now, this present moment, and when I say all of us, I am including all human beings, whether they have or whether they are aware they have any illness or condition and, in fact, all life in general. The past and future do not exist, outside of the present moment. What you believe is your past is only your memory of what you believe happened, whether it actually happened that way or not (try speaking with a friend about an event you shared twenty years ago and see how differently you both remember the event, or even if your friend remembers it at all). The future is only what you believe, project will happen, should happen or what you want to happen, all based upon your present belief system, much of which is constructed by your acceptance, often in childhood, of the belief system foisted on you by parents, church and society in general. Those beliefs form their picture of their reality, but that picture is not reality itself. The only thing that is real is your awareness right now, that itch on your forehead, the sound of the birds singing outside your window, the sound of the windswept rain landing on your window.
When you focus your awareness on what is happening right now, from your in breaths and exhalations, to the rest of your sensory awareness, when you learn to observe your thoughts and fears like clouds floating in the sky and waves breaking on the beach, when you learn to observe them but let them go because you know that they are merely your ideas rather than reality, then you lose the sense of past, present and future because, when you live in the now, there is no sense of time at all. You recognize time itself for what it is, an illusion, and right now becomes eternity. And the sense of freedom you feel is limitless because that is limitless, freedomhappinessbeing.
Enjoy, love, fully experience your beautiful daughter and grandchildren right now. Tomorrow isn't promised to any of us, not even to children. The more present you are for them right now, this very instant, the more you will be there for them in their thoughts of you and in the influence you had on their lives once you have shed your body and they no longer have your physical presence before them.
Namaste,
Ira
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Ira Reid
Hoboken NJ
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Original Message:
Sent: 05-06-2020 15:41
From: William Platten
Subject: My complex issues that all they can do is make me comfortable
Hello,
My name is William j Platten (aka) Bill, I have Chronic diastolic heart failure (HCC), Coronary artery disease involving native coronary artery of native heart with angina pectoris (HCC), LVH (left ventricular hypertrophy) SOB. I am unable to walk much without having chronic chest pains and shortness of breath. There is no pills or surgery that will help cure my situation. I am a patient at the Cleveland Clinic and all they are able to do for me as of now is to keep me comfortable. 50% of patients who have Chronic diastolic heart failure only make it to 5 years. I am having a difficult time knowing that I have no future and I have been diagnosed over three (3) years ago. I am trying to live for today not the past or my future and it is difficult because I had so many plans for the future and I always thought the brilliant physicians and surgeons there would always be something they could do for me.
I have a beautiful daughter and two Grandchildren and it breaks my heart knowing that I am not going to be around for them. If anyone is experiencing the same kind journey that I am on it would be nice to hear from you to see how you deal.
Respectfully,
Bill j Platten
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William Platten
Retired
N/A
Alliance OH
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