Last Tuesday evening (10/10) our Mended Hearts monthly support group met at Portsmouth Regional Hospital in Portsmouth, NH. As always we were glad to see each other and exchange our cardiac recovery program experiences. This month we discussed happiness. What is it, and how do you get it? Trying to measure happiness can be compared to trying figure out how to be taller. It's a waste of time, and there is no app for it. Thank goodness! Apparently, genes are responsible for only a portion of our sense of well-being. A study of 60,000 adults published in 2009 in Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, "found that genes were responsible for only a portion of a person's sense of well-being." Our life choices, goals, accomplishments, and maybe most important of all our relationships may influence our sense of happiness.
When I was younger, I thought happiness was a permanent place I could find to be in, and that I should try to always be happy. But I rarely was. Now I know that that kind of place, that I mentally construct for myself, is a place I can safely go to when I meditate. It is not where I do my daily living, but I keep that place in my mind and have comfort knowing I can go there for a moment. It helps me navigate my days. Otherwise, happiness is that fleeting thing I can't hold on to very long, or like a slanting glint of sunlight that disappears as a cloud covers the sun. My mind holds those times dearly. Something else I've discovered that helps me with being happy, is setting realistic boundaries. Boundaries protect me and help me be in relationships, and therefore, happy!
Here are some of our members thoughts on happiness and its importance in the life of cardiac recovery:
1. I was depressed when I went to the cardio lab, but then I noticed how many people were worse off than me. I feel thankful for a lot of things now, because I try to go ahead in baby steps.
2. Small things can cause me anxiety, but I seem to cruise through large issues.
3. I am powerless over most things, which helps me accept how I am.
4. Repeating the same thoughts over and over brings on worry and stress.
5. Helping someone else helps relieve my stress-stepping outside of myself and listening to others. What a relief.
6. It's important to listen. Sometimes it's hard to not want to "fix" - acceptance and keeping my mouth shut. I've learned!
7. Post-surgery living is with intent, and not as haphazard as prior to surgery. I'm learning to eliminate or avoid things that are not essential or positive for me.
Take good care and thanks for reading my post.
Melinda Driscoll
Mended Hearts 360
Portsmouth, NH