Hi Tracy,
Welcome to the group! I'm so very sorry for the loss of your mother, and for the loss of your income.. I had an emergency double bypass May 15, 2019. It came as quite a surprise since I have always been active and somewhat healthy. (Although I have been a diabetic for 20 years now).
I know how you feel, I was having a hard time with my recovery as well, I'm only 55.
Around 12-14 weeks post op I felt the "cardiac blues" coming on. During that time I reached out to this group and met the most amazing people. They really helped me pull through it by sharing their experiences, offering kind words of advice, and helping me to see that I wasn't alone.
I also started seeing a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy. She has really helped me to get back in the here and now and not always being so focused on my heart and what could happen.
Your cardiac rehab will help you as well, not only physically but emotionally too. I was the youngest one in my group, by many years, AND the only female for about the first month. That was a bit difficult at first. But after a few sessions I realized age is just a number and being the only female was really no big deal, I made some beautiful new friendships. I continued with their maintenance program until I went back to work this past Jan. I sure miss all my fellow rehabbers and the most wonderful nurses!
You are still very early on in your recovery. I remember having twinges, clicks, pops, aches and pains in my chest as well. Always wondering if it was going to be the BIG one! It was just my chest healing. It took me about a full year to start feeling myself again, well my "new" self. I still have times when I have discomfort in my chest but have been told it can even take up to 1.5 years to fully heal.
Two weeks ago I was moving furniture, actually just sliding a few pieces across my living room floor. I ended up in the ER the next day with the worst chest pains ever, thinking oh no, well this is it!! After many tests it was determined to be muscle spasms. I was able to telemedicine my cardiologist the next day and was told to take it easy for the next few weeks because I could still displace my wires.
I've been teleworking now since March 16 and was recently told I may be home until end of summer 2021. I'm just so very fortunate to still be working so I've adjusted to being home all the time. I lost my father May 31, so still dealing with that. I couldn't see him much before his passing due to the COVID, but very thankful I was able to be by his side when he passed. Dealing with being in the high-risk group has given me some new fears and anxieties now, so needless to say I've started doing the telemedicine with my therapist. I would call your insurance to see if that is available for you and would definitely recommend it. Also, remember you have all of us here in this group.
One of the nurses in my cardiac rehab told me, "one step forward, two steps back" and to always remember that.
Best of luck to you with your recovery. Try not to get too frustrated. It just takes time, you'll get there! You can do it!!
Have a great and safe weekend : )
Michelle
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michelle leverett
Ridgecrest CA
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Original Message:
Sent: 07-02-2020 18:47
From: Tracy Rhodes
Subject: New and more than a bit Overwhelmed....
In March, most of the world shut down due to Coronavirus.
On April 23rd, my mother died suddenly at the age of 73.
On May 22, I had a massive heart attack. 100% blockage of my LAD (widowmaker). I had an emergency catheterization that day, took 3 stents to open the LAD blockage. Two weeks later I had another cath and two more stents to open 4 more blockages on the back of my heart.
To say that this is has all been overwhelming is an understatement. I'm only 53.....I don't even have any gray hair yet, for Pete's Sake. I do, however, have a strong family history of heart disease, and was a heavy smoker for 35 years (I quit cold turkey, my last cig was on my way to the hospital while having my heart attack...a good thing in the long run, but right now still feels like another trauma in my life, lol).
Physically, I guess I am doing okay. I got virtually NO discharge instructions from the hospital. I can't get into cardiac rehab until at least mid-July. I'm having a heck of a time getting through to my caridiologist or GP if I have a problem.....Covid-19 has the whole health care system bogged down. But even worse, I am really struggling emotionally. I don't trust my own body anymore. Every flutter, twinge, or pinch seems potentially fatal....I joke with my husband that every day is a new rousing game of "WTH Was THAT??!?" I still feel fairly weak (last cath was on 6/18), and frustrated that I can't do many of the things I usually do. Add to that a complete loss of income for 4 months due to Coronavirus (with hospital bills starting to roll in) and trying to cope with the death of a parent of top of everything else. I need a therapist....but can't seem to find one of those due to Coronavirus, either....my docs put in psych consults, but so far have found nothing.
I'm hoping to be able to connect with some people here who know what I am going through and can offer advice, support, and friendship. I will try to do the same.
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Tracy Rhodes
Charleston SC
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