Mended Hearts Open Forum

Hello. I'm one week post-op after a quad bypass procedure. I'm 58 and was relatively active. I had no symptoms, no chest pains, nothing. What I felt was the sensation of squirting liquid in my left chest -- something like filling a balloon with water, puncturing it with a pin, and then squeezing the liquid out. It wasn't painful, just strange. My primary doctor suggested we check it out anyway, so he sent to me a cardiologist. This was in February 2020. The cardiologist sent me to get a stress test, which I technically "failed" because I couldn't get my heart rate high enough. He then suggested a CT Scan -- but then COVID-19 happened, and I couldn't get an appointment at the hospital.

Fast forward to August, and my CT Scan came back with a calcium score of 2,600. That seemed to send the docs into overdrive. Next was an angiogram for stenting, but while in there, the doctor found more blockage than stents can fix. And so I have open heart surgery. 

A week later, everything hurts. Part of lung collapsed and breathing is not easy. I work with my incentive spirometer, and have taken short walks around the block -- very slowly. Today, I started dwelling on why I needed to do this to myself. I sadder, and less interested in getting out of bed. I have a meeting with my doctors tomorrow, and will bring this up.

Has anyone else experienced this kind of sadness?

Ralph

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Ralph Pena
Director
MYTC
New York NY
------------------------------

Hi Ralph,
Welcome to the group! You're not alone in how you are feeling. I think a lot of us in this group have been where you are. Trust me when I say it does get better and easier, it just takes time. Be patient with yourself, you'll get there : )
I had a double bypass May of 2019. It took me a little over a year until I felt myself again. I had a collapsed lung as well and remember the pain like it was yesterday. Keep doing your breathing exercises and walks. 
Sometimes you just have to tell yourself, "Get up, dress up, show up and never give up." There were many times in the beginning that I had to remind myself of that saying. One time when I was driving home from rehab (it was a 2 hour drive each way) there was a small sign off to the side of the road that said, "Don't give up." It was very strange but I knew then things were going to get better. I just had to be more patient with my recovery.
I developed some depression/anxiety around my third month. I started seeing a therapist to help me through those times. Once you start the cardiac rehab program you will also start feeling better not just physically but emotionally as well. 
You will find this group is full of so many wonderful members with a lot of great advice/support. I wish you well during your recovery! You'll get there, we are all here for you!
Michelle

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michelle leverett
Ridgecrest CA
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Thanks for taking the time to respond to me, Michelle. Your advice is very much appreciated. I'm doing my best to keep going. 
Ralph

------------------------------
Ralph Pena
Director
MYTC
New York NY
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 10-19-2020 19:42
From: michelle leverett
Subject: CABG

Hi Ralph,
Welcome to the group! You're not alone in how you are feeling. I think a lot of us in this group have been where you are. Trust me when I say it does get better and easier, it just takes time. Be patient with yourself, you'll get there : )
I had a double bypass May of 2019. It took me a little over a year until I felt myself again. I had a collapsed lung as well and remember the pain like it was yesterday. Keep doing your breathing exercises and walks.
Sometimes you just have to tell yourself, "Get up, dress up, show up and never give up." There were many times in the beginning that I had to remind myself of that saying. One time when I was driving home from rehab (it was a 2 hour drive each way) there was a small sign off to the side of the road that said, "Don't give up." It was very strange but I knew then things were going to get better. I just had to be more patient with my recovery.
I developed some depression/anxiety around my third month. I started seeing a therapist to help me through those times. Once you start the cardiac rehab program you will also start feeling better not just physically but emotionally as well.
You will find this group is full of so many wonderful members with a lot of great advice/support. I wish you well during your recovery! You'll get there, we are all here for you!
Michelle

------------------------------
michelle leverett
Ridgecrest CA
------------------------------

Good Morning Ralph,
You are very welcome! Keep it up, you'll get there!
Enjoy your day!
Michelle

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michelle leverett
Ridgecrest CA
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 10-20-2020 08:08
From: Ralph Pena
Subject: CABG

Thanks for taking the time to respond to me, Michelle. Your advice is very much appreciated. I'm doing my best to keep going.
Ralph

------------------------------
Ralph Pena
Director
MYTC
New York NY
------------------------------


Original Message:
Sent: 10-19-2020 19:42
From: michelle leverett
Subject: CABG

Hi Ralph,
Welcome to the group! You're not alone in how you are feeling. I think a lot of us in this group have been where you are. Trust me when I say it does get better and easier, it just takes time. Be patient with yourself, you'll get there : )
I had a double bypass May of 2019. It took me a little over a year until I felt myself again. I had a collapsed lung as well and remember the pain like it was yesterday. Keep doing your breathing exercises and walks.
Sometimes you just have to tell yourself, "Get up, dress up, show up and never give up." There were many times in the beginning that I had to remind myself of that saying. One time when I was driving home from rehab (it was a 2 hour drive each way) there was a small sign off to the side of the road that said, "Don't give up." It was very strange but I knew then things were going to get better. I just had to be more patient with my recovery.
I developed some depression/anxiety around my third month. I started seeing a therapist to help me through those times. Once you start the cardiac rehab program you will also start feeling better not just physically but emotionally as well.
You will find this group is full of so many wonderful members with a lot of great advice/support. I wish you well during your recovery! You'll get there, we are all here for you!
Michelle

------------------------------
michelle leverett
Ridgecrest CA

Hi Ralph,

Welcome to the group! I think you will find that most of us here have experienced the same feelings as you have at one point in our recovery. That's how I ended up here at Mended Hearts. I've always been very much a happy-go-lucky, positive mental attitude kind of guy but after my CABG x 3 last year due to a massive heart attack (had 5 blood clots in my heart), I had severe depression and anxiety immediately after my surgery. It was a new experience for me and I knew I had to get some help. I started looking online for support groups for people who had gone through open heart surgery and found Mended Hearts. It has been a tremendous resource with being able to share how I'm feeling mentally and physically and getting feedback from others who experienced the same thing. Just know that it gets better every day. Your body has just gone through severe trauma and it takes time to adjust but as long as you keep putting one foot in front of the other (literally and metaphorically) you'll find yourself feeling better little by little and don't be embarrassed about seeking counseling if you feel the need. And remember, you have an entire community here to support you. :)

Wishing you a speedy recovery and many blesssings.

Best regards,
Brett

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Brett Temple
Project Manager
Sarasota FL
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I had my by-passes at 52 and after going through the depression cycle (I wish I had gotten therapy), I was able to get in good shape using the advice from the previous members.  Take it slowly at first, it took me about 6 months to feel almost normal and almost 2 years to feel back in shape.  I was able to go snow skiing with my family after, so all the workout effort was worth it.  Good luck on this new path in life.

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Randy Waclawczyk
Round Rock TX
------------------------------

Thanks, Richard. I've heard from others that this feeling of sadness is normal. I'm doing my best to stay positive.  I'm not used to this downtrodden state and I feel like it's pulling me down. Thanks for the encouraging words. Much appreciated. -  Ralph

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Ralph Pena
Director
MYTC
New York NY
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 10-20-2020 14:38
From: Richard Short
Subject: CABG

Hello Ralph,

First off I want to welcome you to the zipper club. I had my CABG in 2015 and a pacemaker in 2017. I know exactly what you are feeling. Just about every person that goes through what we have gone through has felt the same way right after surgery.

Post-op Depression is normal and I want to assure you it does go away. For some folks, it takes a couple of months and they even get counseling and for others, it is a few weeks. We are all different and there is no one answer to how to deal with it.

I really began to feel better as I got physically stronger. My mind sort of followed my body. The more things I was able to do the better I felt mentally. 

I also did everything I could to cheer myself up. I watched anything I could on the TV or my computer to make me laugh or forget. I followed everything the medical folks told me to do. I did not question the exercises that seemed silly to me. Like running my hand up and down the wall. It sounded and looked silly to me. The results though worked and the pain in my chest muscles began to go away. I was able to reach my coffee cup in the cabinet myself. I began to feel somewhat normal again.

8 weeks after my CABG I returned to work part-time and full time after 10 weeks. I was lucky enough to have an office job. 

Just be assured that you can and will get over the depression. Do everything you can to enjoy the new you. You have taken the first step by using this forum. You will hear from others what they have gone through. Believe me, it could have been much worse.

You take care and remember to laugh and it will get better.

Richard Short

Chapter 395

Original Message:
Sent: 10/20/2020 2:52:00 PM
From: Ralph Pena
Subject: RE: CABG

Thanks, Richard. I've heard from others that this feeling of sadness is normal. I'm doing my best to stay positive.  I'm not used to this downtrodden state and I feel like it's pulling me down. Thanks for the encouraging words. Much appreciated. -  Ralph

------------------------------
Ralph Pena
Director
MYTC
New York NY
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 10/20/2020 2:52:00 PM
From: Ralph Pena
Subject: RE: CABG

Thanks, Richard. I've heard from others that this feeling of sadness is normal. I'm doing my best to stay positive.  I'm not used to this downtrodden state and I feel like it's pulling me down. Thanks for the encouraging words. Much appreciated. -  Ralph

------------------------------
Ralph Pena
Director
MYTC
New York NY
------------------------------

Hello David, thanks for the pep talk and tips on how to avoid depression. I've been doing my best to keep positive. I agree with you that watching the news will not help me do that. I appreciate the time you took to share your experience. It is very inspiring.

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Ralph Pena
Director
MYTC
New York NY
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 10-21-2020 14:02
From: David Rosen
Subject: CABG

ATT : Ralph,

Just read your bio. I am a very experienced bypass customer. I was also 58 when I had my first round, had a CABG x 4. Your emotions and doubts are par for the course. The worst is behind you. Back then they were not as good at this as the doctors are now. You lucky guy. Think good  thoughts. Listen to and watch  all kinds of music (u-tube is great)

Don't revisit what you went through. What was was and now focus on your good fortune going forward. We all have had ups and downs that is part of recovery.  I had a second CABG x2,  a number of years later when they could fix what they couldn't  the first time around. My tennis game never got better nor has my golf game. SO WHAT. Enjoy what you have and plan your future.

Oh, did I mention that I'll hit 82 (not my golf score) in December . 

My final advise

DON'T WATCH THE   NEWS until after Nov. 5th.  With all that is going on in the world at this time just keeping your head up is a chore in its self. Relax and give yourself time to heal, both your head and heart. Interact with POSITIVE people.

Best regards,

David Rosen Chapter 206, Atlantis Fla.   

Original Message:
Sent: 10/20/2020 2:52:00 PM
From: Ralph Pena
Subject: RE: CABG

Thanks, Richard. I've heard from others that this feeling of sadness is normal. I'm doing my best to stay positive.  I'm not used to this downtrodden state and I feel like it's pulling me down. Thanks for the encouraging words. Much appreciated. -  Ralph

------------------------------
Ralph Pena
Director
MYTC
New York NY
------------------------------


Original Message:
Sent: 10-20-2020 14:38
From: Richard Short
Subject: CABG

Hello Ralph,

First off I want to welcome you to the zipper club. I had my CABG in 2015 and a pacemaker in 2017. I know exactly what you are feeling. Just about every person that goes through what we have gone through has felt the same way right after surgery.

Post-op Depression is normal and I want to assure you it does go away. For some folks, it takes a couple of months and they even get counseling and for others, it is a few weeks. We are all different and there is no one answer to how to deal with it.

I really began to feel better as I got physically stronger. My mind sort of followed my body. The more things I was able to do the better I felt mentally. 

I also did everything I could to cheer myself up. I watched anything I could on the TV or my computer to make me laugh or forget. I followed everything the medical folks told me to do. I did not question the exercises that seemed silly to me. Like running my hand up and down the wall. It sounded and looked silly to me. The results though worked and the pain in my chest muscles began to go away. I was able to reach my coffee cup in the cabinet myself. I began to feel somewhat normal again.

8 weeks after my CABG I returned to work part-time and full time after 10 weeks. I was lucky enough to have an office job. 

Just be assured that you can and will get over the depression. Do everything you can to enjoy the new you. You have taken the first step by using this forum. You will hear from others what they have gone through. Believe me, it could have been much worse.

You take care and remember to laugh and it will get better.

Richard Short

Chapter 395

Look, I had quadruple bypass, mitral valve replacement and a CRT-D (defibrillator pacemaker) implanted pn my wife's birthday. The experts and everything I read said I was a dead man walking. In fact my surgeon told me if I survived the open heart surgery to get a lottery ticket because I was the luckiest man alive (I kid you not). Here I am 14 years later and still on top of the dirt. I've had somd ups and downs but the reality is you can beat this and live a long life. You feel crappy now, which is understandable but you'll get through it. Look at all the positive things in hour life and stop focusing on the less positive. I have a belief...you really aren't living if all you do is worry about dying.

Depression is common for us. Swallow your pride and see a proffessional if need be. Get some medication to help. This ain't the end, it's the beginning so live

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Warren
TucsonAZ
------------------------------

Original Message:
Sent: 10/23/2020 4:53:00 PM
From: Ralph Warren
Subject: RE: CABG

Look, I had quadruple bypass, mitral valve replacement and a CRT-D (defibrillator pacemaker) implanted pn my wife's birthday. The experts and everything I read said I was a dead man walking. In fact my surgeon told me if I survived the open heart surgery to get a lottery ticket because I was the luckiest man alive (I kid you not). Here I am 14 years later and still on top of the dirt. I've had somd ups and downs but the reality is you can beat this and live a long life. You feel crappy now, which is understandable but you'll get through it. Look at all the positive things in hour life and stop focusing on the less positive. I have a belief...you really aren't living if all you do is worry about dying.

Depression is common for us. Swallow your pride and see a proffessional if need be. Get some medication to help. This ain't the end, it's the beginning so live

------------------------------
Warren
TucsonAZ
------------------------------