Hi James,
I am 68 years old and had a heart attack and quintuple bypass surgery nearly 15 months ago, survived a two week medically induced coma after surgery and have not feared death for many years. Although I obviously was not pleased to have a heart attack or be told that I needed immediate, emergency bypass surgery, I was at peace with what had to be done, including the risk of death, both before and after the surgery. Actually, I don't really regard death as a risk. It is a certainty, and nobody knows how much time they have, even if they are perfectly healthy right now. All we can do is fully live each moment that we are blessed to receive. So, I think you're on the right track seeking professional help in dealing with your fears and anger. It is quite possible to overcome any fear, including death, and it also is possible to reach a place where you feel a sense of gratitude to all who helped you, including friends and family as well as health professionals, and for every day to have the gift of life. I know that I'm living on borrowed time, and what once bothered me I now regard as trivial as I experience each new and glorious day.
A couple of additional thoughts -- I, like probably every heart patient on this site, have had my share of pain, discomfort and restrictions as a result of my coronary artery disease, which is ongoing and a condition with which I will have to live for the rest of my life. I also, however, have gone from having to learn how to walk and feed myself again, to running, going to the gym, doing handstand pushups, pullups and pressing more than 100 pounds overhead, all in one short year after surgery. I'm not yet up to the level I was before my heart attack, but I've travelled many miles, literally and figuratively, since I got out of the hospital. And I'm not the only one doing these things. You can google some websites about heart athletes.
As to medications like blood thinners and statins, yes, there are potential serious side effects, but these drugs, along with beta blockers, low dose aspirin and others, are taken by millions of people every day, without major side effects, and it is what keeps them alive. I consider them my lifeline. They have allowed me to continue doing the things that I love with the people that I love, including giving back to my wife for all she went through and all she did for me during the time that I was unconscious and incapacitated, and watching my only daughter, who I love more than life itself, graduate high school and begin attending college.
What I have experienced over the last 15 months has opened me as a human being far more than I ever thought possible, and I am grateful for having had this experience no matter what the future brings. I know that you can get there too with some hard work and support.
Finally, if you are dissatisfied with your current medical care, look for alternatives. You're located right outside Washington DC and lucky to have some of the finest medical care available nearby.
All the best,
Ira
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Ira Reid
Hoboken NJ
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Original Message:
Sent: 04-20-2019 11:59
From: James Phillips
Subject: Attempting to cope and connect,support group(s) ( actual face to face) if one still exists
Hello to those who might read this! Making a long story short, I believe my heart circumstances have caused me to be extremely frightened,depressed, angry and possibly fallen into PTSD. Not to mention continued incomplete diagnoses that seem to grow by the day. Phantom and/or real pains,migrating and changing. I will be contacting a psychiatrist this Monday 4-22-19. My story............. 2007 at age 45 2 stents placed in my LAD. No apparent heart attack. February 1st 2019 4 more stents placed in my LAD. Right branch is 60% blockage. Still no apparent heart attack. I am living with a time bomb in my chest, and dearly would like to connect with some one that has conquered the fear of death (if that is possible). Or someone who has been in my situation. Surely I have seen every You-Tube video on heart health, and all these so called wise doctors continue to contradict each other. Can we actually reverse plaque build up, or at least stop it? I do not want to take Plavix and a statin for the rest of my days,considering they very well may have terrible, if not fatal side effects.I also have a 14 day monitor on for suspected a-fib type disorder,what else could go wrong eh? Well, signing off here for now ! I live in the Washington D.C. metro region in Montgomery County Md. Thanx, Jim
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James Phillips
Rockville MD
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