Mended Hearts Open Forum

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy

------------------------------
Andrew Sullivan
Loveland OH
------------------------------

Interesting story!

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy

Hi. I came to this group seeking help with my depression and surviver guilt too. The people here were very helpful. I think we all look for validation for what we went through. 

One of my doctors told me that the organ getting surgery on is an emotional organ. It's going to get confused through recovery. It really didn't make sense until I came here and saw just how many heart surgery patients feel the same thing I do.

It's been 5 years since my OHS, and with the help of this group I feel way better mentally. I did, however, have cancer a year ago. Thanks to God I'm free and clear of any cancer for now, the ordeal was horrific. I spend too much time worrying about how much longer I have to live. It's depressing wondering if I'm going to live long enough to be a grandma, or retirement, or if I'm going to have a future. IDK

Carrie

Interesting story!

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy

Hi Carrie,

I'm sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis but happy to hear that you seem to be fine now.

I don't know how old you are but I am now 73 and it sounds as though I am older than you as you are just thinking about retirement.  And so, what I'm about to say might seem easier to say once you're already older, but I believe it is valid even at a younger age.

I don't worry about how much time ai may have left.  Even when I think about it on an intellectual level, I don't get the least bit upset.  I feel that I've lived a good and fulfilling life and am still living one now.  That isn't going to change even if I'm gone tomorrow.  And so, what I do is focus on right now.  When I catch myself feeling anxious, I immediately realize I'm fantasizing about a future that may or may not become real and isn't real now.  Right now, this very second that I'm writing to you, I'm on my patio looking at the clouds just before sunset and the light poking through the clouds, feeling the light breeze on my face and the steel fencing on which I'm resting my feet.  I'm sipping a glass of wine and feeling wonderful.

Will I survive the night?  Who knows?  But one thing I do know is that I'm happy, right here, right now and whenever it is my time to go, which probably will be relatively soon, I will move to whatever is next.

Love your life now.  Love your family while you can.  And know that I'm your brother, we're all your sisters and brothers, and in the words of Ram Dass "we're all just walking each other home."

Peace and love,

Ira

Hi. I came to this group seeking help with my depression and surviver guilt too. The people here were very helpful. I think we all look for validation for what we went through. 

One of my doctors told me that the organ getting surgery on is an emotional organ. It's going to get confused through recovery. It really didn't make sense until I came here and saw just how many heart surgery patients feel the same thing I do.

It's been 5 years since my OHS, and with the help of this group I feel way better mentally. I did, however, have cancer a year ago. Thanks to God I'm free and clear of any cancer for now, the ordeal was horrific. I spend too much time worrying about how much longer I have to live. It's depressing wondering if I'm going to live long enough to be a grandma, or retirement, or if I'm going to have a future. IDK

Carrie

Interesting story!

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy

Hi Carrie,

I'm sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis but happy to hear that you seem to be fine now.

I don't know how old you are but I am now 73 and it sounds as though I am older than you as you are just thinking about retirement.  And so, what I'm about to say might seem easier to say once you're already older, but I believe it is valid even at a younger age.

I don't worry about how much time ai may have left.  Even when I think about it on an intellectual level, I don't get the least bit upset.  I feel that I've lived a good and fulfilling life and am still living one now.  That isn't going to change even if I'm gone tomorrow.  And so, what I do is focus on right now.  When I catch myself feeling anxious, I immediately realize I'm fantasizing about a future that may or may not become real and isn't real now.  Right now, this very second that I'm writing to you, I'm on my patio looking at the clouds just before sunset and the light poking through the clouds, feeling the light breeze on my face and the steel fencing on which I'm resting my feet.  I'm sipping a glass of wine and feeling wonderful.

Will I survive the night?  Who knows?  But one thing I do know is that I'm happy, right here, right now and whenever it is my time to go, which probably will be relatively soon, I will move to whatever is next.

Love your life now.  Love your family while you can.  And know that I'm your brother, we're all your sisters and brothers, and in the words of Ram Dass "we're all just walking each other home."

Peace and love,

Ira

Hi. I came to this group seeking help with my depression and surviver guilt too. The people here were very helpful. I think we all look for validation for what we went through. 

One of my doctors told me that the organ getting surgery on is an emotional organ. It's going to get confused through recovery. It really didn't make sense until I came here and saw just how many heart surgery patients feel the same thing I do.

It's been 5 years since my OHS, and with the help of this group I feel way better mentally. I did, however, have cancer a year ago. Thanks to God I'm free and clear of any cancer for now, the ordeal was horrific. I spend too much time worrying about how much longer I have to live. It's depressing wondering if I'm going to live long enough to be a grandma, or retirement, or if I'm going to have a future. IDK

Carrie

Interesting story!

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy

Hi Carrie,

I'm sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis but happy to hear that you seem to be fine now.

I don't know how old you are but I am now 73 and it sounds as though I am older than you as you are just thinking about retirement.  And so, what I'm about to say might seem easier to say once you're already older, but I believe it is valid even at a younger age.

I don't worry about how much time ai may have left.  Even when I think about it on an intellectual level, I don't get the least bit upset.  I feel that I've lived a good and fulfilling life and am still living one now.  That isn't going to change even if I'm gone tomorrow.  And so, what I do is focus on right now.  When I catch myself feeling anxious, I immediately realize I'm fantasizing about a future that may or may not become real and isn't real now.  Right now, this very second that I'm writing to you, I'm on my patio looking at the clouds just before sunset and the light poking through the clouds, feeling the light breeze on my face and the steel fencing on which I'm resting my feet.  I'm sipping a glass of wine and feeling wonderful.

Will I survive the night?  Who knows?  But one thing I do know is that I'm happy, right here, right now and whenever it is my time to go, which probably will be relatively soon, I will move to whatever is next.

Love your life now.  Love your family while you can.  And know that I'm your brother, we're all your sisters and brothers, and in the words of Ram Dass "we're all just walking each other home."

Peace and love,

Ira

Hi. I came to this group seeking help with my depression and surviver guilt too. The people here were very helpful. I think we all look for validation for what we went through. 

One of my doctors told me that the organ getting surgery on is an emotional organ. It's going to get confused through recovery. It really didn't make sense until I came here and saw just how many heart surgery patients feel the same thing I do.

It's been 5 years since my OHS, and with the help of this group I feel way better mentally. I did, however, have cancer a year ago. Thanks to God I'm free and clear of any cancer for now, the ordeal was horrific. I spend too much time worrying about how much longer I have to live. It's depressing wondering if I'm going to live long enough to be a grandma, or retirement, or if I'm going to have a future. IDK

Carrie

Interesting story!

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy

Hi Carrie,

I'm sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis but happy to hear that you seem to be fine now.

I don't know how old you are but I am now 73 and it sounds as though I am older than you as you are just thinking about retirement.  And so, what I'm about to say might seem easier to say once you're already older, but I believe it is valid even at a younger age.

I don't worry about how much time ai may have left.  Even when I think about it on an intellectual level, I don't get the least bit upset.  I feel that I've lived a good and fulfilling life and am still living one now.  That isn't going to change even if I'm gone tomorrow.  And so, what I do is focus on right now.  When I catch myself feeling anxious, I immediately realize I'm fantasizing about a future that may or may not become real and isn't real now.  Right now, this very second that I'm writing to you, I'm on my patio looking at the clouds just before sunset and the light poking through the clouds, feeling the light breeze on my face and the steel fencing on which I'm resting my feet.  I'm sipping a glass of wine and feeling wonderful.

Will I survive the night?  Who knows?  But one thing I do know is that I'm happy, right here, right now and whenever it is my time to go, which probably will be relatively soon, I will move to whatever is next.

Love your life now.  Love your family while you can.  And know that I'm your brother, we're all your sisters and brothers, and in the words of Ram Dass "we're all just walking each other home."

Peace and love,

Ira

Hi. I came to this group seeking help with my depression and surviver guilt too. The people here were very helpful. I think we all look for validation for what we went through. 

One of my doctors told me that the organ getting surgery on is an emotional organ. It's going to get confused through recovery. It really didn't make sense until I came here and saw just how many heart surgery patients feel the same thing I do.

It's been 5 years since my OHS, and with the help of this group I feel way better mentally. I did, however, have cancer a year ago. Thanks to God I'm free and clear of any cancer for now, the ordeal was horrific. I spend too much time worrying about how much longer I have to live. It's depressing wondering if I'm going to live long enough to be a grandma, or retirement, or if I'm going to have a future. IDK

Carrie

------------------------------
[Carrie] [Kashani]
Parapro
ISD
[White Bear Lake [MN]
Carrie

Original Message:
Sent: 08-15-2023 13:27
From: carlo pinini
Subject: First Post - Widow Maker Survivor

Interesting story!

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy

Hi Carrie,

I'm sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis but happy to hear that you seem to be fine now.

I don't know how old you are but I am now 73 and it sounds as though I am older than you as you are just thinking about retirement.  And so, what I'm about to say might seem easier to say once you're already older, but I believe it is valid even at a younger age.

I don't worry about how much time ai may have left.  Even when I think about it on an intellectual level, I don't get the least bit upset.  I feel that I've lived a good and fulfilling life and am still living one now.  That isn't going to change even if I'm gone tomorrow.  And so, what I do is focus on right now.  When I catch myself feeling anxious, I immediately realize I'm fantasizing about a future that may or may not become real and isn't real now.  Right now, this very second that I'm writing to you, I'm on my patio looking at the clouds just before sunset and the light poking through the clouds, feeling the light breeze on my face and the steel fencing on which I'm resting my feet.  I'm sipping a glass of wine and feeling wonderful.

Will I survive the night?  Who knows?  But one thing I do know is that I'm happy, right here, right now and whenever it is my time to go, which probably will be relatively soon, I will move to whatever is next.

Love your life now.  Love your family while you can.  And know that I'm your brother, we're all your sisters and brothers, and in the words of Ram Dass "we're all just walking each other home."

Peace and love,

Ira

Hi. I came to this group seeking help with my depression and surviver guilt too. The people here were very helpful. I think we all look for validation for what we went through. 

One of my doctors told me that the organ getting surgery on is an emotional organ. It's going to get confused through recovery. It really didn't make sense until I came here and saw just how many heart surgery patients feel the same thing I do.

It's been 5 years since my OHS, and with the help of this group I feel way better mentally. I did, however, have cancer a year ago. Thanks to God I'm free and clear of any cancer for now, the ordeal was horrific. I spend too much time worrying about how much longer I have to live. It's depressing wondering if I'm going to live long enough to be a grandma, or retirement, or if I'm going to have a future. IDK

Carrie

------------------------------
[Carrie] [Kashani]
Parapro
ISD
[White Bear Lake [MN]
Carrie

Original Message:
Sent: 08-15-2023 13:27
From: carlo pinini
Subject: First Post - Widow Maker Survivor

Interesting story!

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy

Interesting story!

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy

Interesting story!

Hi Everyone, I am almost 4 years removed from multiple Widow Maker Heart Attacks. My first one happened while I was riding my bike. My second one happened because I was resistant to the medications that they gave me to prevent clotting.

Physically, I feel like I have made a full recovery. I am back to all of the activities that I was able to do prior to my heart attack. Mentally though, I've really been struggling. I always feel like I am just one incident away from another heart attack. I struggle with things like "survivor guilt" and have times when I suffer from anxiety and depression.

I've been trying to find In-person or on-line support groups that meet periodically so see if there are others out there like me. I thought I'd reach out to this group to see if anyone is aware of support group resources.

Thanks in advance for your help,

Andy