Mended Hearts Open Forum

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
------------------------------

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
------------------------------

Hi Brendon. Sorry to hear that you have been going through this. Shock, fear and anxiety are a common experience for us heart patients. I agree with Lea's comments about knowledge being power, whether that's asking your cardiologist a lot of questions about your condition, recommendations for healthy exercise or prudent limitations you should try to follow. Many of us also find it helpful talking to others who have been through similar experiences and hearing their stories can often help alleviate some anxiety. That's what Mended Hearts is all about! And there are some 'Young Mended Hearts' groups out there for us heart patients who must deal with our issues while also working full time jobs, parenting younger children, being the partners or spouses we need to be.  It can feel overwhelming. But as Lea said, you are not alone! like both of you I was born with a bicuspid valve. I've had 2 open heart surgeries, the more recent when in my mid-40s, and I have a dilated aorta that is stable and being monitored. My cardiologists have recommended limits to strenuous lifting but also encouraged me to stay active and continue doing the outdoor activities that I enjoy and are beneficial for heart health. I personally feel much better when I'm able to get regular exercise. 
I understand the fear. Our YMH group would certainly welcome you if you'd like to join one of our virtual meetings, we've all been there. I believe you'd find it helpful. 
wishing you well. 
Peter

------------------------------
Peter 

Original Message:
Sent: 03-16-2023 04:49
From: Brendon H
Subject: Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
------------------------------

Hi Brendon. Sorry to hear that you have been going through this. Shock, fear and anxiety are a common experience for us heart patients. I agree with Lea's comments about knowledge being power, whether that's asking your cardiologist a lot of questions about your condition, recommendations for healthy exercise or prudent limitations you should try to follow. Many of us also find it helpful talking to others who have been through similar experiences and hearing their stories can often help alleviate some anxiety. That's what Mended Hearts is all about! And there are some 'Young Mended Hearts' groups out there for us heart patients who must deal with our issues while also working full time jobs, parenting younger children, being the partners or spouses we need to be.  It can feel overwhelming. But as Lea said, you are not alone! like both of you I was born with a bicuspid valve. I've had 2 open heart surgeries, the more recent when in my mid-40s, and I have a dilated aorta that is stable and being monitored. My cardiologists have recommended limits to strenuous lifting but also encouraged me to stay active and continue doing the outdoor activities that I enjoy and are beneficial for heart health. I personally feel much better when I'm able to get regular exercise. 
I understand the fear. Our YMH group would certainly welcome you if you'd like to join one of our virtual meetings, we've all been there. I believe you'd find it helpful. 
wishing you well. 
Peter

------------------------------
Peter 

Original Message:
Sent: 03-16-2023 04:49
From: Brendon H
Subject: Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
------------------------------

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
------------------------------

Hi Brendon,

My name is Steve and I also have a bicuspid aortic valve and a dilated aortic root that was diagnosed at age 38 and I am now 57.  Ironically I am also a registered nurse (hemodialysis) and can relate to what you describe perfectly as I went through the same exact thing after being diagnosed years ago. I am a very active person and the only restriction I have is not lifting more than 50 lbs. My root has grown very slowly over the years from 4.2 to 4.6 cm. My bicuspid aortic valve is functioning very well with some minor regurgitation which has not progressed over the years. Surgery for me will happen at 5.2 cm. There are positive stories of people who had aortic replacement on this forum which helped me tremendously get over the negative thinking about surgery. Like you I sought out the best cardiology care I could find and I am glad I did that. My blood pressure and heart are controlled tightly  with meds to keep BP below 130/80 and heart rate 80 or less at rest. Having confidence in the medical personnel caring for my problem was half the battle for me. The other half was finding positive outcomes with surgery. Working in healthcare, we often dont see the positive outcomes out there enough which causes us to have a more negative view sometimes i'm afraid. I am glad that I know I have the problem instead of finding out when something unexpected happens which is often the case. You sound like you are on the right track with care like I have been, which I think has minimized aorta growth. It took a while for me to "get comfortable" living with the problem and the uncertainty about the future but I got there with time. I think you will get there too. If I can be of any further help feel free to contact me through post or private message.

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
------------------------------

Hi Brendon,

My name is Steve and I also have a bicuspid aortic valve and a dilated aortic root that was diagnosed at age 38 and I am now 57.  Ironically I am also a registered nurse (hemodialysis) and can relate to what you describe perfectly as I went through the same exact thing after being diagnosed years ago. I am a very active person and the only restriction I have is not lifting more than 50 lbs. My root has grown very slowly over the years from 4.2 to 4.6 cm. My bicuspid aortic valve is functioning very well with some minor regurgitation which has not progressed over the years. Surgery for me will happen at 5.2 cm. There are positive stories of people who had aortic replacement on this forum which helped me tremendously get over the negative thinking about surgery. Like you I sought out the best cardiology care I could find and I am glad I did that. My blood pressure and heart are controlled tightly  with meds to keep BP below 130/80 and heart rate 80 or less at rest. Having confidence in the medical personnel caring for my problem was half the battle for me. The other half was finding positive outcomes with surgery. Working in healthcare, we often dont see the positive outcomes out there enough which causes us to have a more negative view sometimes i'm afraid. I am glad that I know I have the problem instead of finding out when something unexpected happens which is often the case. You sound like you are on the right track with care like I have been, which I think has minimized aorta growth. It took a while for me to "get comfortable" living with the problem and the uncertainty about the future but I got there with time. I think you will get there too. If I can be of any further help feel free to contact me through post or private message.

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
------------------------------

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
------------------------------

Hi Brendon

I found out that I had a bicuspid aortic valve and ascending aortic aneurysm in 2019 by chance. Never knew about the valve, had a full physical and they found both. I met with a cardiologist and surgeon and they wanted to play the waiting game. My wife sent all of my records to Cleveland Clinic for a second opinion(they happened to be in network with my insurance) and they recommended having surgery. Not necessarily because it was urgent but more because of my age(38) and because I was in good shape and overall very healthy besides this. They was also a candidate for a David Procedure which wasn't even mentioned as an option prior. They were able to "repair" my bicuspid valve instead of replacing it and fixed the aneurysm. My surgeon tells me that there is a good chance that it will last my lifetime and may not ever have to undergo another surgery.

As far as the panic attacks go, I had issues after surgery mentally. Between finding out about the aneurysm and having surgery was about 4 months. mine was 4.8cm when they found it and my doctors told me not to lift anything heavy but aside from that I wasn't at high risk of dissection at that size. For some reason I trusted that and wasn't too bothered by it. I started the panicking after the surgery when every little thing I felt I thought something was wrong. I had to take a small dose of anti depressant for a little while and I think it helped. i'm not a doctor so not suggesting that is what would work for you, it just helped me get over the hump. It took me a while to get past it but it got better. 

Feel free to reach out anytime to chat. It definitely helps talking to people who know what you're going through!

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
------------------------------

Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

------------------------------
Brendon H
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Hello.

My name is Brendon and I am 30 years old. I was diagnosed with a Thoracic Aortic Aneurysm back in 2019. I am a Registered Nurse in an Intensive Care Unit. One night while working, I was kicked in the chest by a patient and went to the ER to check out my chest/neck area to make sure there was no damage. It was at that time that they found no damage from the kick, but incidentally found the AA. I was born with a Bicuspid Aortic Valve, always knew about it, but never knew that aneurysms can form later in life from the connective tissue disorder. Needless to say, it was quite a shock. I was terrified but also relieved to have found it because who knows if I ever would have. Since that day, I feel like my life has completely changed. I immediately sought out the best cardiologist I could find, who specializes in both aneurysms and bicuspid aortic valves, at the top heart care hospital in the country. I am currently in a "stable" status, at 4.8 cms since the discovery. I get yearly check ups and am told I wont undergo surgery until i reach 5 cm, per their protocol. Often times, I feel very down and depressed about it; it feels as though my young life was over as I knew it. Finding this out has created such high amounts of anxiety and fear in everything I do. I used to be such an active person. Running, frequent visits to the gym, avid outdoors activities, etc. Since then, I am scared to do anything. Any time I feel any sort of discomfort, I immediately panic and assume I am having a dissection. I have never in my life had panic attacks, but since the discovery, they are weekly. I have gotten a bit better at handling them, but the stress and fear gets to be so much. I have a very supportive girlfriend in my life, but I have decided I never want to have kids, because I dont ever want them to have to go through losing their father. Since the discovery, I just feel my days are numbered; that Im just existing until that inevitable day comes where I feel that terrible, ripping pain, and pray for it to stop, one way or another. I know none of this is healthy. I know how ridiculous what I just said sounds, I tell myself that on a daily basis, but it often doesn't help. I am a fit man, with well controlled blood pressure (average 110/70 BP) but I still cant help but live in fear every day. I see all you folks on here who talk in such positivity, I hope that some day I can do that too. I thought thar after 4 years it would get easier…but I have yet to get there.

Thanks for listening,

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Brendon H
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