Mended Hearts Open Forum

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  • 1.  I need some support for a friend who had OHS!

    Posted 05-05-2025 08:26

    Hi there,

    my friend had OHS (aorta valve and halfaorta replacement) and is 12 weeks post op! And 11 weeks post stroke (no impact on motor function) 

    Lot's of sensations, such as dizziness, soreness and muscle cramps! All appear unexplained for him. Are there similarities with your experience?

    Biggest struggle though is his mental state. Low mood, fears, flash backs from his time in the hospital. Wish for isolation, worries to go out, increased struggle to control emotions. Feeling alone in his journey.

    Do you had or have similar experiences and what was your way to overcome these? What is it I might need to understand here as one of his closest people that was all along by his side during the process and like to continue being of support?! 

    Thank you all, and all the best for your own recovery.

    Bianca



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    Bianca Humbert
    counsellor
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  • 2.  RE: I need some support for a friend who had OHS!

    Posted 05-05-2025 08:39
    Hi Bianca
    Kudos to you for caring so much about your friend. He sounds overwhelmed and has gone through a lot; OHS and then a stroke can lead to all the symptoms he's experiencing. Due to the stroke, he may be experiencing some/all of the emotional components he is experiencing. Maybe you can speak w his MD about the possible emotional aspects of his stroke, which may be addressed by therapy. Good luck Bianca and please send my best wishes to your friend
    Mary

    Sent from my iPad




  • 3.  RE: I need some support for a friend who had OHS!

    Posted 05-06-2025 08:48
    Bianca-
    Everyone's experience is different, but amazing recoveries are possible. More than a dozen years ago, I had two MIs, one minor, one major, received seven stents, was coded twice, and eventually had OHS. Depression, anxiety, uncertainty, I had all that. Yet here I am, fully (almost) active at 83, feeling great.
     
    Some people find there way forward with the help of faith. Some with the help of family.  Some with the help of love and support of people close to them.  A good relationship with a cardiologist helps. So does luck. 
     
    Try to help your friend stay positive.
     
    Bob Levin
    p.s. Discuss anti-depressants with the doctor. It may take a while to find the proper one, or the placebo effect may kick in immediately. (It did with me.)
     





  • 4.  RE: I need some support for a friend who had OHS!

    Posted 05-07-2025 09:56
    I will be praying for you and your friend ! Even as "patients" we forget that this can be hard on everyone including the support system that surrounds us in these moments. Physical therapy, life, expectations, may push us hard in these moments but after multiple hospital stays and recovery periods I can say that the secret sauce or ingredient is to never give up and just do the best you can that day and even better tomorrow. There is no right or wrong with specific coping strategies (especially when the spirit is low). It's all about the mentality and headspace you allow yourself to be in. I'm sure your friend will follow your lead, notice your time, effort, strength, and positivity more than anything else. 

    I'm actually currently hospitalized and am trying to get myself in this headspace of "you can do this one more time, it's ok" 

    I hope this helps. And, I tell my friends all the time but thank you for being a friend in this moment. 

    Regards, 
    Lusvy 







  • 5.  RE: I need some support for a friend who had OHS!

    Posted 06-11-2025 10:53

    What you described sounds tough, but also not uncommon after such a major surgery and stroke. Even without motor issues, a stroke can impact emotions and cognition, and the trauma of everything combined can linger. I had a similar experience a while back (different condition, but also involved a long recovery and some emotional fallout), and honestly, the mental side took even longer than the physical.

    What helped me most was just having someone there who didn't try to "fix" it, but was willing to sit with me in the hard moments. It meant more than advice or pep talks ever could. Sometimes just asking, "Do you want to talk or just sit together?" was exactly the support I needed.

    Some people have also explored complementary options like mood edibles, for example, CBD-based mood gummies like https://www.stirlingcbdoil.com/product-category/mood-gummies/ to manage stress, promote calm, or support emotional balance. Of course, these should be discussed with his healthcare provider first, especially considering his recent stroke and ongoing recovery.

    Encouraging him to talk to a mental health professional might also be a helpful step if he's open to it. And in the meantime, just continuing to be that steady presence probably means more than you know.



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    laura bairdd
    Office Clerk
    Johnson & Walker Logistics Inc.
    SC
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  • 6.  RE: I need some support for a friend who had OHS!

    Posted 06-12-2025 04:56
    Bianca,

    I had open heart surgery in the form of a quintuple bypass seven plus years ago, immediately followed by being placed in a medically induced coma for two weeks after contracting pneumonia from the ventilator. I can tell you that the physical symptoms you describe sound quite common and should go away over time. The dizziness may be medication and blood pressure related and your friend should consult his cardiologist for that.

    Please also understand that full recovery from open heart surgery can take as long as a year, so it is not at all unusual to encounter issues in the relatively early stages of physical recovery.

    As to his emotional issues, Laura provided wonderful advice and I can't improve on that. I can tell you that, from what I've read and heard from others, that these issues also are exceedingly common, perhaps even the norm. They are not, however, inevitable. I, for one, had the opposite experience. When I eventually awakened from my coma, I was filled with an enormous sense of love, appreciation and gratitude for all who saved my life and, indeed, for all existence. I knew that I was living on borrowed time, that I had been granted a gift beyond measure and my life from then on was about providing the same compassion and assistance to others as I had received. I laughingly describe it as my Ebenezer Scrooge moment when he awoke on Christmas day, but it was an awakening in every sense of the word. So what if I had to learn to walk and feed myself again and a nurse had to help me get to the bathroom? That was all trivial. I was alive. and, even more importantly, I knew and still know that I was and am, that we all are, connected to each other as part of the fabric of this vast universe.

    I believe your friend will be fine. Follow Laura's advice and be there for him as a fellow soul. He will appreciate it.

    Ira