Mended Hearts Open Forum

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  • 1.  post surgery's funk

    Posted 20 days ago

    Hi.

    New here. I am looking for someone to talk with, maybe a meeting in my area or something? I live in San Diego.

    In the last year and a half, I received a pacemaker, and ablation, another wire installed/new pacemaker and a couple weeks ago received a defibrillator/new pacemaker. I am on a ton of meds. I am feeling really low about it all. I don't know how much is a result of my meds and how much is in my head. 

    I would really like to talk with others that may help me get my head on straight.

    Thank you, Dave



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    David Smith
    engineering Tech.
    Ausgar
    El Cajon CA
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  • 2.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 19 days ago

    Hey Dave, Mike here from Medford Oregon, but actually living in Chiang Rai Thailand now. 

    You've had a lot of stuff. I had a CABG x4 18 months ago. 

    I've never really replied here, but I saw your subject and I relate. 

    I'm in recovery and been sober for a while, so I noticed myself sort of spiraling down after my surgery.

    I talked to a mental health pro and to my Cardiologist and my PCP because we all love talking to multiple people about our stuff LOL

    I went with medicine help (antidepressant). I have also backed that up with some pretty real mental health work, meditation, and we've sold all of our possessions, homes and cars and left the country and went from working 12-=14 hours a day to 2-3 hours a day. Oh and I walk like 4-8 miles a day.

    For me, this heart attack and surgery left me 100x better than I was before physically. But I've been all over the board mentally.

    What I heard and have pursued is that mental health issues are very normal after big surgeries. And with us, they're messing with our hearts, turning it on, off, burning it, taking blood away, giving it blood... blah blah blah LOL 

    And that doesn't even mention the drugs afterward. 

    It's gonna mess with your head some in my experience and from everything I've read.

    You did exactly the right thing. Go to the forum, ask for help. I remember when what I call the, "Black Alone" hit after my surgery. Wow, I just got a big mess of emotion right now thinking about it. It was just gnarly... I mean I had no hope, I felt like I was gonna be fucked forever.

    But I got with the right people and they helped me out. 

    The amazing thing is my wife had some massive health things after mine, and there's been a lot... but since I reached out and asked for help, I've been better, and I've felt better, a little more even and able to handle whatever.

    You're ok. You likely don't feel like it, but you did the right thing too.

    Hang in there. Keep talking and getting help.

    Mike



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    Michael Leonard
    Medford OR
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    Original Message


  • 3.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 18 days ago

    Mike, being new to this site, my message may not have made it to you and really wanted you to know how much your response meant to me. Thank you so much! I owe you! 



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    David Smith
    engineering Tech.
    Ausgar
    El Cajon CA
    DavidSmithDavid
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    Original Message


  • 4.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 19 days ago
    David-
     
    Funk is common. So is vast improvement.
     
    I had received a defibrilator in 2013. It followed some major events and surgeries. Those were days when batteries only lasted five years so I had mine replaced once. Then, maybe two years ago, I got a new state-of-the-art defibrilator, which should outlast me. (I'm nearly 84.)
     
    My defibrilator(s) have been no problem. I suspect your funk is due to the trauma of needing one and the fact they haven't got it right yet. But stay positive! I'm happy to address specific concerns or kick general stuff around with you.
     
    Bob Levin
    Berkeley



    Original Message


  • 5.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 18 days ago

    Bob, new here so still trying to figure out how to use this site. 

    Thank you for your thumbs up, this has been a crazy journey as you well know. 

    Dave



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    David Smith
    engineering Tech.
    Ausgar
    El Cajon CA
    DavidSmithDavid
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    Original Message


  • 6.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 13 days ago

    Hi Dave.  I had cabg surgery on 10-7.  For a while afterwards I felt myself sinking into the kind of funk you describe and which I understand is pretty common with heart patients.  Then I started going to cardiac rehab and what a lifesaver!  I immediately felt better and the people there are so uplifting and encouraging besides the physical health benefits.  I do not know if cardiac rehab is appropriate for defibrillator patients but I definitely think it would be good for you to speak with your doctor about it.  Best wishes



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    Priscilla Kelley
    AL
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    Original Message


  • 7.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 12 days ago
    Pricilla,
    thank you so much for your note. I have received others, and it makes me feel good in the respect that I am not going crazy. I reached out to my Cardiologist, telling them about our experience and said they should warn of the possibility of this funk and point patients to an institution like Mended Hearts for help if it happens. She would have none of it saying they are there for the physical part only. I feel with all the paperwork they send us home with, how hard would it be to add one more page simply stating there may be some help adjusting through support groups if need be. Seems simple enough and it certainly would have helped me, I kept thinking I was making it all up.

    Thanks again, Dave 



    Original Message


  • 8.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 11 days ago
    I saw another post earlier I believe, that talked about Cardiac Rehab. I can't believe that I didn't mention Cardiac Rehab in my first reply. The nurses in Cardiac Rehab saved my life literally. 18 months later after my surgery and I'm in Thailand walking 5 to 8 miles a day. As a matter of fact, I'm writing this email as I'm walking on the old Chiang Rai airport runway. 

    All of this to say anything and everything is possible after heart surgery. But you have to go get it. 

    Mike



    Original Message


  • 9.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 11 days ago
    David and Priscilla,

    I've said what I'm about to say several times on this site but am going to repeat it now for your benefit and for the newer people who might not have heard this before. For context, I had emergency quintuple bypass surgery eight years ago preceded by a heart attack and follows by two weeks in a medically induced coma with a 50/50 chance of survival. I fully recovered and, now age 75, am still the workout psychotic that I have been all my life since age 12.

    Prior to my surgery, because of its emergency nature, I had no time to think about what was to come or to ponder potential consequences. When I awoke from the coma, however, I had plenty of time to think. When I learned that the surgery had been very successful (the coma was so that I could heal from a case of ventilator induced pneumonia and a c diff infection from antibiotics), all I felt was an overwhelming sense of gratitude. The gratitude extended to all the doctors, nurses and other staff that had saved my life, but it was also more than that. I felt grateful to the entire universe. I felt that I had been blessed, not only with the gift of borrowed time going forward, but also the realization that every moment is a blessing. When I started walking again upon my release from the hospital and inpatient rehab recovering from the effects of the coma), I actually hugged a tree and sensed it as a fellow being!

    At no time post surgery did I feel fear, anxiety or depression. I learned, from this site and through internet research, that I was unusual and that most or many heart patients did experience fear, anxiety and/or depression. I realized, though, that all fear is fear of what one believes might happen in the future, that what you fear might happen may not happen or may be entirely different than how you imagine it and that your lived experience of anything and your reaction to it is seldom how you once imagined/feared it. In short, the future does not exist. It's just a movie you create in your mind based on preconceived ideas, opinions of others including family, friends and society at large that you've accepted as true. The same is true of the past, which is patched together in your mind as incomplete and frequently flawed and selective memories. In truth, the only thing that is real is right now, this present moment which, when strung together, constitutes the eternal now.

    So the lesson I want to share is that it is not inevitable that you feel fear or depression and that those feelings are not the inevitable result of a physical trauma. Rather, they are based on beliefs, many of which you may realize are invalid if you question why you feel the way you feel and believe what you believe. It's why, counseling, psychotherapy and/or meditation is so useful in getting past your fear/anxiety/depression.

    I hope this helps.

    Ira


    Original Message


  • 10.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 11 days ago
    Beautifully said, Ira. I printed your words out for easy reference for guidance and sharing, reference and reinforcement.
     
    Bob



    Original Message


  • 11.  RE: post surgery's funk

    Posted 10 days ago
    Bob, that's high praise coming from you, old friend. For all those reading this, Bob is an immensely talented author and I highly recommend you explore his works on Amazon and elsewhere. As Ezra Pound used to say to people about his fellow writers and poets, "Read him."

    Ira


    Original Message