Jennifer Doering

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I am 69 years old and had a silent heart attack, which of course was a surprise. I was told surgery or the next attack would kill me. I had surgery the 15h of December.

This is the worst surgery I have ever had to recuperate from and trust me, my arthritis has caused me to have more surgeries than I can count.
One of the things that was the worst for me are the drugs I have to take afterwards. The beta blockers make me so sick.

Then I find out I have A Fib because of the surgery and have to go back on them. I go around sick to my stomach all of the time now and am exhausted. Sometimes I wonder if it was worth it. I am having a very difficult time with my caretaker (my husband) and with the Covid and me not being able to go out by myself has really caused a strain on our marriage. We will be married 50 years this April if we survive. 

I am sure many others of you are going through the same thing and it is so easy to think, why me? I have been fighting chronic pain for the last 33 years and sometimes i wonder why I am still here.

To pass time, I am an avid reader and I make homemade cards for people using calendar pictures and stickers. I look at it as my therapy; it helps me and the people love the cards I give them.

This has been the most difficult journey I have ever had to go through and find myself feeling quite alone. I hope I can touch base with others and feel better soon.

I am very grateful for this website.